Why is it that so many people forget their manners around pregnant women? Whether it’s a well-meaning coworker or that friend from church, their remarks can really sting, no matter how good their intentions may have been. This is especially true when you’re a sensitive, hormone-addled mom-to-be!
To save everybody some discomfort, here’s a list of things you should never say to a pregnant woman.
Are you sure you’re not having twins?
This. Is. The. WORST. It’s a not-so-subtle way of saying, “You look enormous.” Why would you ever tell a woman she looks big? What is the matter with you?
“OMG, you’re so small! You barely look pregnant.”
For a good portion of my pregnancy, I was small and had a barely noticeable belly. I would always get comments about other pregnant bellies being bigger than my pregnant belly. So here is the thing – just as you shouldn’t comment on how big a woman is when she’s pregnant, don’t remark on how small she is either. You might not think this one is as insulting, but it can make a first-time mom worry about whether she is measuring too small for her baby’s gestational age. Rule of thumb: Don’t make any comments about a pregnant mama’s size – trust me 🙂
“Wait Until… The Sleepless Nights/The Birth/You Have A Toddler!”
This one ALWAYS gets me! Guys, pregnancy isn’t a competition. I’m sure sleepless nights and toddler years are tough, as well as sending kids off to University. But, I’m not doing that right now. I’m pregnant, and every so often I would like to be able to have a moan about my aching back/how tired I am/my clumsiness without being dismissed as naive.
You look like you’re really ready to be done.
This is another way of saying, “Gosh, you look terrible.” It’s right up there with telling someone they look tired. Unless a person has just finished a marathon, or hosted a junior high slumber party, you shouldn’t tell them they look tired. Same goes for telling a pregnant woman she looks ready to be done.
You look farther along than five/six/seven/eight months. I’m sure you’ll go early.
Yes, I’m sure my doctor, who went to medical school, totally got the estimated due date wrong. Thanks for the help – I’ll make sure we revise the chart to reflect your completely off-the-wall opinion on how big my belly is.
You look like you’re ready to pop!
… you in the nose… 😉
Being pregnant is one of the most special times in a woman’s life. Not sure what you should say the next you are ready to time you’re chatting with a pregnant woman?
Keep it simple:
That’s it. Works for postpartum women, too. Oh, and pretty much everyone else.